let's get physical!

I have been avoiding writing this post for a few months now. I’ve sat down and started typing several times, but for some reason or another I’ve always deleted what I’ve written and ran away from it. I think I thought that writing it would be too personal, too much information. But, this is my blog, and most of you know all about it anyway, so I decided that now was as good of time as any to write this post. So here goes.

Most of you know that I have lost a significant amount of weight in the last year or so. 53 pounds, to be exact! It is something I am working really hard for, that I really wanted, and I wish I had done sooner. However, it took me awhile to get to a point in my life where I was unsatisfied. Not only was I unsatisfied with my body, but I was unsatisfied with how it made me feel. I have always been very active, with dance and riding, and always loved eating my fruits and veggies, but I never really took working out seriously, and I never understood how or why people would willingly go to a gym and sweat for an extended period of time! In middle school and high school PE, I was always the one who would give lame excuses to get out of running, such as “I have cramps” (a classic), “my ankle hurts” (could have been legitimate, after my ankle surgery), “my knees hurt” (LIE!).

Fall of 2007, with the help and encouragement of my wonderful roommate, Jacqueline, I committed to eating healthier. Jacqueline and I started Weight Watchers (we counted points, but didn’t attend meetings). Following Weight Watchers helped me learn about portion size—how much should I really be eating? It also helped acclimate my body to eating less, but eating foods that made me feel very full so I wasn’t craving food. Like I said, the food I was eating before wasn’t bad for me, it was just that I ate too much. Snacking was my downfall, and unnecessary eating in front of the TV contributed to it! Jacqueline and I would watch the Biggest Loser, and do our ab workout while watching people sweat off the pounds! We walked/jogged Bloomsday (12K, about 7.5 miles), in May of 2008. Before graduation I had lost my first 20 pounds!

Also in the fall of 07, I decided I wanted to try running. I remember the first time I went running in my neighborhood in Spokane, my only thought being, “gosh, I hope that no one I know drives by and sees me…” I laced up my tennis shoes and set out in an unknown direction. I jogged a couple of blocks and had to stop, I was so out of breath! I kept persevering, and soon was jogging the loop of my neighborhood several times a week. One day, curious as to how far it was, I drove it with my car, and much to my surprise it was about a mile. During the winter I didn’t run, but as soon as spring set in, I laced up my shoes and went back outside. Running made me feel free. One day I had an epiphany while I was running—this was fun! Although I was sweating and working hard, I could still breathe. My body was doing something that I never believed I could do. I had built up so many excuses over the years that I had created a mental block. At the end of spring I was jogging 2 or 3 laps at a time, and was working on increasing my pace.

Over the summer, I became really committed to the gym. It was way too hot to go running outside, so I stuck to the temperature controlled gym! I worked from 8-5, and every day after work I went straight to the gym. My friends can attest to this. I was at the gym everyday from right after work until about 2 hours later. I ate a healthy diet, low-fat, low-ish carb, high protein, etc… I lost about 25 more pounds over the summer, in about 3 months. I have learned to LOVE the gym.

After moving back to Tacoma, I joined the YMCA, where I have lost about 8 more pounds since September. Although it’s taking awhile for the weight to come off now, this time has given me a chance to reflect on what I’ve learned through this process:

- I have learned that it IS a process. Change doesn’t happen overnight. It takes commitment, hard work, and perseverance.
- I have learned that I am still the same person, just closer to who I am trying to be—someone who lives a healthy life and has a healthy attitude towards food and exercise.
- I have learned that having that extra weight was keeping me hidden, which was a place of comfort for me. Losing weight has made me feel more vulnerable and exposed, which is kind of scary sometimes.
- I have learned that I am capable of pushing myself to my physical limits. I can run a 5K, I can do pull-ups… It has given me more stamina, confidence, and overall health.

Finally, I have learned that this is a journey I will be on my entire life. Once I reach my goal weight, I still won’t be done. It takes commitment to a lifestyle change. And I appreciate all of you who have supported me along the way, who have talked with me and walked with me throughout this process (both theoretically and literally! Rachel and Shanon, I miss walking with you!). Your friendship means a lot to me.

Congrats if you made it to the end of this post! Thanks for reading, and being a part of this process in my life. Whether you know it or not, YOU are amazing!