words to live by.

things I like

Time for another post with bullets. This is an attempt to reach inside and find my inner zen amongst the angst and celebrate the good moments. This one is titled:

Things I Like (inspired by last few days)

• picking apples


• bubble baths


• homemade soup


• "bless the broken road" acoustic version


• pretty much any other music that's acoustic


• iced white chocolate americanos (not just the last few days. every day.)


• chocolate


• sleepytime tea


• the smell of rain

Ok this blog might be a bit corny or cliche, but I love all of these things! And all of these things are simple and make me happy!

Words of wisdom from reality television

"Women like to take on a challenge. Like a rescue dog. Instead of accepting that he's going to be a mutt, you try to make him a purebred." Oh Kardashian sisters... you are so wise.

quote of yesterday...

"hurry up, i don't want to get too sober."

I love my friends!

p.s.- I promise a real/update blog soon :-)

job hunting...

sucks...

i am so sick of writing cover letters and sending resumes. especially not hearing anything back.

there ARE an awful lot of bikini barista job postings on craigslist. maybe i should consider a career change? i hear they make great tips :-)

SOMEONE HIRE ME!!!!!!

rant of the night

Why some men think they can pick up the ladies by hollering "hey baby" across the street from their apartment complex to me as I am getting out of my car in front of my apartment building carrying my laundry is beyond me... Do they really think that's going to get them anywhere? And then when I ignore them they try again with, "hey, you're hot, nice ass"... Mind you, YELLING THIS across the street. Not to mention I have a (fantastic and wonderful) boyfriend who got me without doing any of this yelling business. Why do some men think they have this right to yell at girls whenever they feel like it and expect a response? Is that really what the world is coming to now...

The last thing any girl (self-respecting girl, that is,) would do would be to yell across a crowded room or the freaking STREET at a guy, or whistle, or make gross gestures, or any of those other things that a fair percentage of the world's (or maybe it's just Tacoma's) men do every day.

As a woman, speaking to all men, I say STOP with the yelling and the feeble and disrespectful attempts at a pickup and talk to us like normal human beings. Although I am not interested in being picked up because I am quite happy with my amazing boyfriend! But for the love of God, men, grow some balls, talk to us like human beings and not like pieces of meat you want to screw around with... I guarantee you that will get you somewhere faster than yelling across the street and saying, "nice ass".

The End. And thank you for reading.

confessions

It has been a frightfully long time since I blogged. Almost 1.5 months. Much too long.

Things that have happened in the last month and a half:

• 2 weeks left of grad school! I graduate on June 7th and am SO THRILLED to be done!


• I've gotta find a job. AGH! Meaning a full time job that actually pertains to the degree i've just spent 3 years, countless hours, and countless dollars on.


• I am in a (new-ish) relationship and he (Jordan) is wonderful. I am amazingly blessed!


• I have driven to Missoula and back. Fun road trip! Spokane to Missoula is MUCH more fun than Tacoma to Spokane.


• I'm sure lots more has happened between then and now but it's tough to think of all the little things to post on here...

In short, grad school is coming to a close, and it seems life is a-changing! Exciting, but scary. Most of you know that change is something I am generally terrified of (i.e. Mom moving to Wyoming), but that generally God knows what he's doing and it all works out for the best (or better) than what I could have imagined for myself. I just have to keep reminding myself that God is in control, and I need to have faith and patience and not worry so much. However it's tough not to worry about post grad school plans like a job, money (can I pay my bills?!), life, etc....

Alright, well that's enough complaining/whining for now. I am going to try and stay positive, as I am VERY excited for this new phase of life after school (AGHH how I am going to adjust to not having any school/class/papers/reading, etc...?) I think i'm going to miss it...

wisdom from michael scott. and musings.

SO I HAVE TRIED MULTIPLE TIMES TO ADD PARAGRAPH BREAKS TO THIS POST AND IT WON'T LET ME... Super super super annoying..... There are supposed to be multiple paragraphs in this post...... UGH. Michael Scott quote of the day: "It just goes to show that everything you want in life you get. You can't work for it. It just comes to you." (from Season 7:PDA). Oh man, Michael is so wise (LOL!). What is The Office going to be like without him? I can't imagine the show without Michael, part of me just wants them to end the series all together. We shall wait and see... So I haven't posted a real blog in quite awhile, all i've had time for lately is quick/funny youtube clips (which are obviously awesome), but not quite as substantive as a real blog. I am going to try and remedy that right now, although I don't have tons of time to write because I need to change and head to Peace soon. 7 weeks of grad school left. AAHHH!! That is so crazy, I can't believe I have done almost 3 years of this program and all that's left is 7 weeks. About 60% of me is super relieved to be done with my masters, and done with the drama of school and projects and papers, etc... The other 40% is stressed and starting to be scared shitless of my life without school. Being a student is part of my identity; I love school, love academics, love writing papers. I love the regularity and normalcy of school, I love having breaks. I have been a student continuously since I was basically three years old, so I cannot imagine my life without school. What is going to fill my time and my brain? Along with the end of school comes a major life transition. Finding a "real job" (i.e. full time job that actually utilizes my degree), the possibility of being unemployed for awhile while I find this aforementioned job. Missing being able to get paid to be with horses, ride, train, and teach. Horses will still of course be an important and valued part of my life but that is going to change a bit as well. Scary scary scary. I am also continually amazed at God who loves us more than we can fathom. I am reminded every day that His plan for my life is immensly better than what I could have come up with on my own. And I am so grateful that he brings people into our lives when we least expect it and in the craziest of ways. Grateful and happy are the two words to describe right now. Sigh. Sometimes I just laugh thinking about it all, and especially since it's already been proven to me plenty of times that I really have no say in my plan, and God's plan is better anyway. However many times this has been shown to me, I wonder why I still question and worry and doubt. I think this continual tension between what we think is best and what God knows is best is something that doesn't go away no matter how old and wise we think we are... I am so blessed! I only pray I can live my life like those such as my mother who live life with blind faith and taken huge leaps of faith at multiple times during their lives (and I have no doubt will continue to do so). In other news, I am SO SICK OF THE RAIN. I think the weather is teasing us, giving us 4 or 5 hours of amazing sun and then just returning to rain. I am ready for spring/summer to be here yesterday and to no longer have to think of the appropriate 3 or 4 layers to put on for work... Alright, well I am headed out to Peace, but I hope whoever reads this enjoyed a brief update from me. I will leave you with another quote from The Office, "A queen sized bed is five feet wide... I am not five feet wide."- Stanley Hudson

Slow Dancing In A Burning Room Cover

Found this on youtube. Holy cow, these guys are amazing! This is one of my favorite songs and they sing it beautifully. Plus the random guy in the background playing the Wii is equally awesome. Enjoy!

Prom?

My senior prom was a bleak affair complete with RAIN, driving my mom's car to Seattle in that aforementioned pouring rain, and friend drama like you wouldn't believe. Oh senior year. The best part of prom was the getting ready and walking down the prom stairs, and then watching "The Ring" (or was it "The Sixth Sense"... see I don't even remember) afterwards at Kelsey's house complete with MORE friend drama and snacks! :-) However I must say that this video is pretty darn cute.

randomly...

I am officially running Bloomsday in May. Guess that means i've got to start training, huh?! Those 7.46 miles aren't going to run themselves... Grey's Anatomy quote of the day: "If it were me and I had someone to make out with I might do it in a room with a door... that locks"... -April Kepner Happy Sunday! :-)

"you baited me with sauerkraut, that's so low"

So this quote really has nothing to do with this blog post, it just made me laugh. It's from the movie "Morning Glory" (Rachel McAdams, Harrison Ford, Diane Keaton) which I watched the other day. If you haven't seen it, I highly recommend it!

I am recently going through this phase where I like writing down funny/memorable/meaningful quotes I hear on tv or in song lyrics or on movies. Most of you know I am not super great at remembering quotes (unlike Kelsey and Taylor, wow they are good), so I am trying to improve. Some recent favorites are:

"Blondes are either bad ass or fun, and you, you're a brunette"- Mark Sloan, "Grey's Anatomy"

"Who wants to go to Applebees alone?"- Vince Vaughn, "Couples Retreat" (HILARIOUS movie!)

"I'm upset, my bladder is full, there's no telling what I might do"- Michael Scott, The Office

"There are two things I know about white people: they love matchbox 20 and they are terrified of curses"- Parks and Recreation (last week's episode)

Moving on... I haven't written a post in awhile so I figured it was time. The last month has been crazy busy. I turned in my master's capstone (yay!), just got it back graded and got a 4.0 :-). I took a looong weekend road trip to Oregon, first to Portland for 2.5 days and stayed with Kelsey, then 2 days with my Grandma in Eugene. I got to have a lovely breakfast with Taylor and Alex also, and it was great to see them and catch up, although the time was much too short.

Our first horse show of the spring/summer was a few weeks ago and my student Katie competed on Keebler. It was a blast, although it was raining. The judging sucked, and she should have placed better, but it was a good experience regardless. We have another show in a few weeks, just a little schooling show, nothing fancy.

Rachel came to visit me last weekend, and we had a FABULOUS time! Lots of laughing, coffee, we went walking at Ruston, shopping at Target, and hot tubbing at the Middleton's with the view and the sunset which was amazing and super relaxing. I am so grateful for friends like her, it definitely lightened my mood and was just a good start to Spring!

Speaking of Spring, today is a beautiful day, there's blue sky and it's NOT raining or freezing cold. It makes me believe that Spring is officially here and maybe there will be an end to the seemingly endless grey skies and rain.

Life is good- I am happy. Spring Quarter starts next week, which means that it's my LAST QUARTER OF GRADUATE SCHOOL before I get my MSW. Wow! God is so good. The next few months are going to be exciting, bring some big changes and unexpected things, that's for sure. I continue to have faith in God's purpose and plan for my life, even when sometimes it seems to be in the fog. I am continually reminded of Proverbs 19:21- "Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it's the Lord's purpose that prevails."

my blonde moment of the day

an actual conversation in class tonight:

Kara: it's a love triangle. Or a love octagon.
Me: no, it's a love..... what do you call one with four?
Kara: a square.

girl power!

This little girl is so wise. Next president?!

sooo close!

I turned in my master's thesis/capstone on Thursday! The proof is below! It's a 250-page effort that took 6 months of work, and I can't even begin to count the hours that went into it. In case you can't read the front of the binder, the title is "Hope through Equine Assisted Learning". It's an 8-week, twice weekly, outpatient Equine Assisted Therapy program for women who have experience trauma. It is my baby. Something I actually want to do with my life and have been planning and just dreaming about it, and now it's down on paper! In a binder! With dividers and a table of contents and addendums. ooooh la la! When I turned it in I actually almost shed a tear. Yep, that's how pathetic I am (some might say nerd...)

And I had my friend Kara take this picture for proof. Yep I am a total dork. don't hate!

So now I just have one more week of class this quarter, then Spring Quarter, and then I am done in June!!! AGH GETTING SO CLOSE! Then I have to be a real adult... hmmm i don't know about this.

quote of the day

today i told two teenagers at my practicum,

"separate your bodies."

true statement.

Books by my bed.

It is no secret that I like to read. Before I go to bed I like to read a few chapters of some kind of book that is generally an easy read and isn't too intense so it's not likely to give me nightmares or weird dreams or affect my sleep in any negative way. Or get me so deep in thought that thinking about the book makes it hard to go to sleep. This means that start-finish it usually takes me between 5 and 7 days to read a book.

The other night I was reading "True Notebooks" before bed and I looked over at my bedside table and realized that there were 9 books on that table, precariously balancing on eachother like a Jenga block. Looking at the randomness of the titles it just made me laugh, so I thought I would post a picture and then a brief summary/description/review of each book. Most of these books belong in my "old-classic standards, go-to-when-i-have-nothing-else-to-read" classification scheme.

I am going to start from the book on the bottom which if I recall I read somewhere back in December, and move up from there. I highly recommend any and all of these books to you!

1- Nickel and Dimed by Barbara Ehrenreich... an amazing book detailing an author's attempt to live on the minimum wage in three different US cities. Let's just say that she has very limited success and a newfound respect for (mostly) women of the lower-working classes. A must-read for anybody questioning the reality of the American Dream.

2- And Still We Rise by Miles Corwin... the author spent a full academic year in a mostly minority school in a low-income/gang ridden area of Los Angeles. He details the struggles of the school's Advanced Placement students and teachers struggling to succeed academically among financial ruin and the immense personal struggles of the students. Really opened my eyes to the inequality of our public school system here in the US where students across the country are supposed to be getting an equal education. Having taken AP classes myself in high school I found this book particularly interesting because I didn't have to fight book or supply shortages or have people getting shot while I was taking my AP tests in the Spring.

3- The Edge of Winter by Luanne Rice... i am ASHAMED that this book is in this pile! Let's just say, classic trashy grocery store love-story that is enthralling to read yet all the while I am reading it I am just a little bit ashamed of myself.

4- The Rapture of Canaan by Sheri Reynolds... about an ultra-conservative religious group (basically a cult) and a young girl's coming of age story. Makes you think about the extremities of some cults but also that success among obstacles is possible.

5- The Road Home by Ellen Emerson White... this book is in my top 5 favorite books of all time. For real! It is a part of a series written by EE White (that's her pen name, I think the author is actually a male). Rebecca defied her parents and enlisted as a nurse in the Vietnam War, and falls in love with a "grunt" (enlisted, front-of-the-line) solider. She comes home from Vietnam and must face the reality of her choice to enlist and deal with the many horrors she saw. This book does not mince the atrocities of war and yet manages to be sensitive and subtle and a great love story about the "not-so-perfect" parts of falling in love.

6- Bridget Jones' Diary by Helen Fielding... I don't even know where to start with this book. This book is AMAZING. I have read it who knows how many times and use Bridget Jones as inspiration for my own blogging. The character of Bridget is every girl who has ever had a heartbreak, passed out drunk, passed out from eating too much, struggled with dieting and self-control, and the list goes on. Fielding's witty prose makes me laugh out loud no matter how much I read it, and the blunt British honesty in this book adds to the immense humor. I highly recommend this book to any woman (or man for that matter. maybe it will help you understand us better?!)!

7- Hunter Seat Equitation by George H. Morris... so I ride horses (obviously), and this book is the bible of hunter riding. George Morris is the father of American Equitation and this book teaches classic riding style which is taught all over the country. Just a little light bedtime reading!

8- A Girl of the Limberlost by Gene Stratton Porter... I wonder who else has heard of this book? Set in the late 19th century, Elnora is a 16-year-old girl raised in the Limberlost of Indiana starting high school in the "big city". This is a coming of age story about love, finding independence and an adult identity, and staying true to yourself. As with most Victorian-era novels, it has dark and twisty undertones that contrast the apparent light and airy nature of the story. Each time I read this book I find something that I miss and that fascinates me. Stratton Porter's writing pays attention to each detail that gives you the most vivid mental images of each scene. A must-read!

9- True Notebooks by Mark Salzman... Several months ago I wrote a blog post just about this book. And here I go again. Mr. Salzman spent a year teaching creative writing classes in a maximum security facility for Juvenile Offenders. Most of his students were facing charges for violent crimes, robberies, gang-related drug or violence offenses, and in some cases murder. This book shares his experiences and many examples of the writing that his students created. For youth who had never been given any sort of creative outlet, the experience of Salzman's class gave them license to express themselves. This book will shock you and touch your heart (I know that sounds too warm and fuzzy to be true, but it is.)

Hope you enjoyed this little summary of books on my nighstand. Pretty soon they are going to fall off my nightstand and I will have a problem (hopefully not in the middle of the night while I am sleeping.) Perhaps I should put them away in their rightful homes and do another post like this in several months.

Peace is...

So if you don't know, this year I am doing my practicum at Peace Community Center on Hilltop in Tacoma. I started in September and get to be there until June. I love it. Underscore on the love. I feel blessed to get to be a part of the lives of our amazing high schoolers and see the perseverence and strength in our kids. They have had to overcome some pretty tall obstacles to get where they are and getting to help them over some hurdles and rejoice in their successes makes me pretty happy. Last week we had a staff retreat and I was lucky enough to get to attend.

The first day we spent some time reflecting on "What is Peace", specifically talking about the mission of the community center and where we see peace in our work with the students. However this discussion expanded to where we see peace in our everyday lives, and in the moment I wasn't very eloquent with my thoughts (imagine that!). After having a few days to reflect I have come up with a list (wow, what a suprise) of times that mean peace to me. This list is in no way exclusive and I am sure there are many many many things I am leaving out.


Peace is-
... waking up to the smell of freshly brewed coffee
... a trail ride after a long day of work in the summer
... taking a shower after a long day of teaching lessons and standing there under the hot water for 10 minutes because I am waiting for my body to not be numb from the cold
... sitting under a blanket with some cocoa
... reading a good book before bed
... the smell of saltwater in the morning
... iced white chocolate americanos
... laughing so hard that you cry and/or pee a little
... driving out to Enumclaw towards the mountain in the morning and seeing the clouds evaporate over the mountain
... feeling safe in someone's arms
... any music by Joshua Radin
... brownie batter
... the smell of horses on your skin and clothes long after being at the barn
... sitting around with friends on a lazy Saturday when it's raining outside
... driving on I-90 from spokane-tacoma with loud music and the cruise control on
... walking on ruston way, anytime, rain or shine
... the orange color of the sky and the silence of the world before it snows
... driving down a country road with nowhere to go, just to drive
... the last class of the quarter
... soundview camp
... swinging on a swingset
... the end of our church service at manitou, standing in a circle and holding hands, and feeling a part of the community


I challenge you, where are places or times in your life where you have felt peace? It could even be just for a fleeting moment or for a little longer. It takes a little extra concentration, but I think I can firmly say that some of the most profound moments of peace in my life have been amongst chaos. This week I am going to try and slow down and find those moments of peace in each day.

oh the places you'll go...

I realized yesterday that out of the past 4 months I have spent approximately 1 month in Wyoming. A state I never thought I would spend a day in, let alone a week or a month. And over that month I have become increasingly more fond of the place. Since I love lists, I decided to make a list of the things I like about Wyoming and the things I like about Washington. Because somehow things make more sense when you make a list, and even MORE sense if it's color coded (which I am not doing because I don't need people thinking I am more crazy than necessary...)!


things i miss about wyoming when i am in washington:
- big open skies
- sunrise runs with no traffic
- no traffic in general. being able to get all the way across town in 10 minutes is awesome.
- running with faulkner. he's a good running buddy.
- people are friendlier and smile at you (sometimes they even say hi). at first i thought this was creepy, but i have grown increasingly fond of it.
- the air. smells cleaner/fresher. no tacoma aroma. no smog.
- the stars. they are brighter. and there are more of them!
- a sense of independence and freedom
- life is slower, and people are in less of a hurry. less stress.
- hot trucks. they're everywhere. 'nuff said.
- casper mountain... it grows on you. snow adds to it's legitimacy as a mountain.

things I miss about washington when i am in wyoming:
- wearing flop flops in the winter
- iced coffee year 'round (its too cold for iced coffee in wyoming in the winter)
- traffic. sometimes a little traffic is comforting.
- the mountains
- the water
- smell of saltwater
- my car (although i realize this could easily be remedied by driving my car TO wyoming)
- forza/bertolinos/dilanos/auto espresso. (i.e. coffee other than starbucks. too bitter.)
- manitou (church). nothing quite like it.
- friends
- old navy (the closest old navy is in colorado)
- juanitas tortilla chips= the BEST ever! they are made locally, and i can't find them in any stores in wyoming.

These lists are definitely not complete, and I have a feeling there might be a sequel to this post because there are surely things I am forgetting. The moral of this story is that there are good things about every place you go, which you don't necessarily realize until you go somewhere new. It makes you realize what you take for granted at the place you call "home". And also, the place you call "home" is not a fixed place, it is more of a fluid concept... How's that for philosophical?