i'm doing laundry!

I realized today after looking at my blog that about 80% of the entries have a very negative and depressing overtone. I never intended this to be a place where I would whine about what is happening, mostly job related. However this is supposed to be an accurate reflection of my current state, so you my friends and family can keep updated on my life. I am going to try and stay more on the positive side, because I need a little bit more of the happy energy right now!

This week was alright, on a scale of one to ten I would say a solid 5. Monday we had a meeting at Remann Hall (the Juvenile detention facility) with our liaison between ProTeen and the probation officers (POs). After the meeting we went on a tour of the detention part of Remann Hall, so past the locked gates and got to see where the kids actually stay when they are there. It’s kind of disconcerting to hear the door lock behind you! We saw the “pods” where the kids stay, I think up to 18 in each pod. They have their own room, it’s about 5’x8” with a “cot”, toilet, sink, and mirror. Most of them have no windows, and if they do you can’t see through the glass. There is a common room, where there is a small tv and a shelf of books, and that’s about it. Some plastic furniture and tables for meals completes the common room. Each pod has a laundry room, and the kids take turns doing laundry. There is a small classroom also, for meetings and school, etc..

We were allowed to go in to an empty pod and explore it, and then we walked past a few pods that were full of males in detention. Each pod is separated by gender, and there are 1 or 2 staff in each pod at a time. More guards stand in the hallways. Kids are allowed to walk from their pods to visitation or the room where they wait to be escorted into court without escorts, but they do have leg shackles on. They have to walk with their hands behind their backs and on the right side of the hallway, and that is showing compliance. Kids who can’t handle the rules, or are very unruly are sent to “B-pod”, where they are escorted, shackled and handcuffed, everywhere as well as allowed no time outside their rooms.

It was so interesting, and kind of terrifying, to actually see where some of my clients have spent time, and get to understand the context in which they are coming from. Many of them come back time and time again, because they are served 3 meals a day, have a warm bed to sleep in, have access to school and medical care anytime they need it, which is more than a lot of them get at home. There has only been one successful escape from Remann Hall, and the kid came back for dinner the same night. It is a very empty and sterile environment, but the people who work there seem to really care about the kids.

The rest of the week was blegghh… My program still hasn’t started, and there is no news on when it might. I am getting really frustrated, and feel like I am not doing much that is making a difference. I’m doing lots of administrative tasks for NLF and ProTeen, and am involved in our fundraising Gala and a few other things. Each day I get more frustrated, which makes it hard sometimes to want to go there. I just keep praying for patience. I know I am learning things every day, it is just not at all what I expected when I signed on. I am trying to be positive, but after almost 2 months it is getting hard to stay happy, patient, and positive. (Most of you know that patience is not one of my gifts…)

Here are some pictures from a little trip to my favorite beach on Friday!